Yes. Find some simple songs with some good texture. Soooo much fun.
For me those are: “Sweet Jane” and “Wicked Game” (just 3 notes on the E string). “3 Little Birds” and “Stir it Up” look more complex than they are… and Bob Marley just makes me happy. “Three Little Birds” always makes me feel better.
absolutely you do what you can do, get up tomorrow and do it again. good for you man. it ain’t easy, but hey, nobody promised easy to us.
I’m so sorry that you have a lot going on at the moment, and that you are feeling the effects of that. Just dealing with your partners health issues will no doubt take up a lot of your time, and mental energy. Not to mention your studies!
You mentioned that you picked the bass up to escape a little. That’s very similar too my reasons for playing, and the fact that you recognise that is good. I know how hard it can be to find that motivation, but above all else if you can remember that one point, it may help you find a little more motivation. I can’t help motivate you to finish the course, I can’t even do that for myself, but I can just echo what others have said about finding a song that you like listening to, and hopefully you’ll get some fun from learning that. It helps if you have something ‘to go back to’, something other than the course that is incomplete. I’ve covered quite a few songs that are basically the same two to four bars repeated throughout. And they are very fun to play, and something you don’t need to think too much about. That is the kind of minimal mental effort activity that brings me some fun, and helps me pick my bass up when I am feeling lost.
I think it is very important to remember ‘why’. Good luck!
It is good to hear that you have some outside support too, it really does help just to have someone away from the situation that you can confide in/ vent to/ and help you rationalise your situation. Because as much as we tell ourselves that we have to keep going, you really don’t. There are times when you need to allow yourself the space to grieve, or cry, and just let some of it out. Then you can stick the ‘stiff upper lip’ back on and battle onwards!
You’re dealing with a lot right now. What do you most need to reenergize yourself that you can use music to help you with?
Do you need the support of other people? Do you need an escape that you can focus inwardly? Do you need both?
Figure that out and how to fit music into it.
If you need support and caring people, put yourself out there. Be honest. Find some people who want to play easy stuff together. Find a guitarist who just wants to noodle some blues, country, or reggae progressions or something.
If you want to focus inwardly - set aside a dedicated space and create a small ritual for yourself. Rituals are important.
As cheesy as it may sound, build a small shrine to playing music. It can be as small as a corner of a room where you keep your amp and hang a bass on the wall. Put up a picture or some other decoration that makes you think of music. Get a stool or chair or cushion to sit on that you only use for playing music. Put down a rug or mat with a distinctive texture. Set up a freestanding arch or gate like in a Japanese garden that marks a transition point between the stresses of the world and where you get to just be with music.
Find the ritual for you. Maybe always fix yourself some sort of drink - could be brewing a cup of tea, or seltzer over ice, or pour a beer, or a dram of whisky - especially if it’s one you reserve for practice time. Sit down in your spot. Start just enjoying the feel of the bass and make a few random noises. Just enjoy some slides or atonal play. Then start in on your lesson or play-along or whatever.
Just set up an environment where all of the sensory information you get marks it out as a different space from the rest of your day, and you have a set of actions that you do not need to think about that remind you that remind you that you’re doing something different.
Above all - don’t beat yourself up. You’re already dealing with a lot. Use music as an opportunity to take care of yourself, not another chore that you have to take care of.
That’s surely great advice: put yourself out there, be honest, and look for people who just want to play some easy stuff together. It sounds simple, but in reality, it takes time — and with a busy schedule, that’s not always easy. You also need to find the right person, maybe a guitarist who just enjoys noodling around with some blues, reggae, or country progressions, and most importantly, a place to play where you won’t get disturbed too much.
Yes, it’s a great idea. It creates a little ritual, a separate space, even if just symbolically — like a way to tell your brain: “this is the time to play.”
Thank you, that’s exactly what I need to keep in mind. It’s so easy to turn music into just another goal or obligation, when really, it should be a space to breathe.
Honestly, what you said really hits home. I’ve got all these books I was excited to buy, instruments I actually want to play… but when the energy or motivation isn’t there, it’s just so much easier to sink into the couch and turn on Netflix or the console. It feels counterintuitive — you’d think I’d reach for the things that bring me joy — but sometimes the inertia wins.
I thought about these :
Vibe: Introspective and melancholic.
Why it works: Simple repeating chord progression. Very accessible — perfect for zoning out and just playing.
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Vibe: Energetic but hypnotic.
Why it works: Catchy, repetitive riff. Great to work on rhythm and consistency without complexity.
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Vibe: Laid-back, hypnotic groove.
Why it works: Ultra-simple bass line that loops the whole way through. Super chill to play.
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Vibe: Grungy, emotional.
Why it works: A 4-chord loop you can play with root notes. Satisfying and easy to follow.
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Vibe: Quirky and relaxed.
Why it works: Simple, slow riff with a fun attitude. No pressure, easy to jam.
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Vibe: Slow, dreamy, melancholic.
Why it works: Minimal notes and lots of space. Perfect for slowing down and letting go.
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Vibe: Nostalgic and melodic.
Why it works: Smooth progression, easy to follow. Great for light playing with emotion.
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Vibe: Classic, moody folk/blues.
Why it works: Familiar chord progression. Easy to build a simple, flowing bass line.
Some great tune choices there. Strap up, strap in and have fun. We’re talking playing here. Dig it.
100%
“Simple” is very different from “Easy”.
You know what your mental energy levels are. Only take on what you have capacity for.
Those other elements were very intentional as well. It’s design philosophy you see in Japanese gardens. Under those free standing gates, they frequently put a different textured surface like coarse gravel that provides multiple sensory queues (texture and sound) that you are entering a different space.
It’s actually a known psychological phenomenon. You know how you go into a room to look for something, but forget what you were looking for as soon as you enter? It’s been studied, and traveling through things like doorways and moving from flooring of one texture to another interrupts our train of thought and soft-resets our mind.
Use this to your advantage.
Oh wow, I didn’t realize it can get that bad…
Sorry to hear that.
Well, you already got a lot of good ideas here.
I’ll add a thumbs up to the playing songs you like.
Basically, I find that playing a song I really like is kind of an excuse to listen to a song I really like over and over again. It becomes very meditative.
As to how to bring yourself to actually, physically pick up the bass and start playing, Josh has a section about it in the beginning of B2B:
Make sure your space is all ready to go - bass always plugged in, not in a case, not away under the bed etc.
You said " sometimes even the idea of plugging everything in…" which suggests that there are some steps to take which prevent you from getting started. Try to lower those barriers.
If you play with headphones connected to the amp - leave your bass plugged in and the headphones plugged in. Get a chair to stay next to the amp/bass with the headphones on the chair - all ready to go, just sit and play.
etc etc based on your space. If you don’t actually have a space, make one!
I’ve seen from the videos posted in this forum that some members live is pretty small apartments, but they have a small corner dedicated to this hobby. It really only takes one meter square to have a guitar stand and an amp.
Now, while I am far from being a “counseling” kind of person, also talk to your partner about it. I find that sometimes I don’t get started because there is so much to do in the house that I feel guilty for playing while I know my wife is cleaning the kitchen (for example).
After a few years of this going on (I also didn’t play for a long time), we had some chats and she understands that I want playing the bass to be a part of my life, that it is my yoga/gym or whatever you want to call this “wellness” time.
I sometimes build it into our daily touch points. i.e: “Honey, I’ll finish the kids lunches and sending them to school, clean the kitchen and then I’m going to disappear for 20 minutes playing my bass, ok?” . Sound silly, but it gives me this internal lack-of-guilt to go and play.
Also, our partners are supposed to help and motivate us to chase our (little) dreams. If they don’t know it’s important to us they can’t do it. When they do, it’s just like your partner helping you with reminder to go to the gym, maybe s/he can help you with encouragements to practice.
And in the end, while it sounds defeatist, sometimes you just can’t fit more in your life. My father-in-law passed away 2.5 years ago and we had a whirlwind of moving my MIL in with us (she has dementia) and then caring for her and two kids. I just didn’t play for a year plus at this point… such is life sometimes.
I have so many hobbies I want to make time for but I just don’t. I have 2 3D printers at home that I haven’t touched in 2 years, I have an indoor hydroponic grow system for plants I haven’t used in 3 years. I want to train crossfit and I always wanted to learn BJJ…
Life now is raising two kids, working shift work full time, and trying to get 20 minutes of bass in. And I came to be at peace with it.
