IT for DoD until May of this year
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Repair, maintenance, and certification of radar, communications systems, and navaids for air traffic services, first in the army and then civilian, going on 24 years now. Also a ham radio operator who’s fairly deep in technical projects and maintaining my own rigs (naturally), and teaching electronics to newer hams when someone is interested.
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So… I wanted to revisit this. The evaluation process took a month and a half. So I got my diagnosis last month: ADHD and Autism. (More ADHD forward.)
I had the ADHD part pegged. The Autism part kind of surprised me. But since knowing and understanding, a lot more things make sense.
This prompted my wife to get evaluated. Also Autistic and ADHD (much more Autistic forward).
Now a LOT of things are making far more sense to us. It’s still a lot of processing going on though.
…
I’m loving my new band, because we’re very similarly neurodivergent. After our first practice, we spent a good 30 minutes just standing in a big triangle in the driveway talking about music geekery and cars and rarely making eye contact. Last practice ended discussing our favorite fidget toys.
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I’m not autistic but genuine question. How does passing the autism test change things for you?
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Knowing that it’s there helps with managing it. I knew that I had adhd since I was in elementary school. I had meds, then learned to control it without them. I got the audhd diagnosis in my mid 30s. It helped to answer some anomalies that I was running in to after leaving the structure military life. Now, I’ve learned to manage both (mostly). Learning an instrument is a part of that process.
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It’s hard to describe the intensity of relief that comes with sudden understanding. Like finally getting to the reveal in a whodunit and suddenly all the clues you never put together now align to form a clear narrative. Only it’s a narrative about your entire life leading up to that moment. Shit starts to finally make sense.
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I didn’t know this post existed so long, but I am an electrical engineer. I worked my whole career in control systems. Designing and installing the control equipment in the chemical plants and refineries in and around Houston, Tx and the gulf coast of the US.
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Possible but more likely not. I avoid driving at night if I can help it. The newer LED street and head lights really bug me. I’m fine out away from the suburbs.
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I was reading an article about autism and it mentioned one of the symptoms is an inability to empathize / understand other people’s emotions.
I said to my wife. “I might be autistic”
She said “Close, it also starts with A, you’re an asshole.”
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It’s just as likely that you teach yourself to over empathize as you grow up.
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I still can’t decide if overdiagnosis of autism causing some more traditional assholes to be medicated is good or bad
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Autism cannot be treated with medication, mostly. Some symptoms can be treated though.
Meeting people with severe Autism was the among hardest things I’ve done when I studied psychology, except from meeting people with severe schizophrenia. It made me feel absolutely powerless, as you could feel their intense suffering … and you could do NOTHING about it, except giving them strong downers basically (which was left to psychiatrist, as psychologists cannot medicate over here).
Good news though: there is no cure for @ssholes too, I’m afraid, but maybe @barney’s wife can “medicate” herself to ease her pain 
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I think a more accurate explanation is that understanding of autism was very poor for decades, and not so long ago usually only nonverbal boys were diagnosed. All the other boys and girls who were autistic but were able to manage to have a normal life, despite of all the bullying and problems, went diagnosed until now when they are in their 40s or 50s. So it isn’t really a question of “overdiagnosis” but rather underdiagnosis.
Also what is called high functioning autism used to be called Asperger syndrome. Until it was merged with autism in the DSM-5 in 2013. But as most people’s “understanding” of autism is “Rainman” or a stressed boy stimming, people seem to be reluctant to accept that autism is a spectrum, and each autistic person is unique.
Traits very a lot between individuals. And they are often different between men and women.
Autism and ADHD very often walk hand in hand, more often than people realise.
When one has been bullied a lot in school, one often finds more meaningful relationships with people who are also neurospicy (someone here in this thread coined this term and I love it!). And as there is a strong genetic connection, it runs in families too. Getting to know one is neurodivergent makes it so much easier to understand one’s parents. I have a much better understanding of my father now.
I love this! In the last few years I started to find out most of my good friends are neurodivergent. A couple we know have two kids, and both are autistic and have ADHD, which led the parents to get tested, and both are too. Which led friends to get tested. Suddenly we found out we all somehow managed to make these fantastic friendship bonds being all neurospicy without knowing.
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Ps: credit where credit is due: thanks @fennario for coining the term “neurospicy” 
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^^^^This! It’s hard to describe just how much relief there is in finally understanding your life. A diagnosis late in life is not going to change anything much, you’ve already long since learnt coping mechanisms, but finally having an explanation for my own behaviour is like a having huge weight lifted off my shoulders. None of my friends quite believe I’m autistic except the two ladies who each shared over ten years of my life with me and they both said “well, duh! I knew that years ago.”
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I just show her your posts and she realizes that she could be a lot worse off. 
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Hahaha! Give her my warmest regards - her life must be hard, I guess
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I can’t take credit for coining this one, however. Not sure of the origin but it had been in circulation already by the time I started using it.
Excellent post above! I think most folks wouldn’t realize how related ADHD and ASD are.
People often talk of the autism spectrum, but don’t get that it isn’t a single continuum, it’s more like a mixing console! With different sliders for social communication, sensory sensitivity, emotional regulation, executive functioning, pattern recognition, need for routine, verbal communication, motor coordination, interoception, etc.
I was finally diagnosed after all the myriad tests we went through with my daughters and recognizing quite a bit of it in myself, and knowing that there’s a huge hereditary component. When I told my teenage daughters that I’d been diagnosed with ADHD, this was exactly their response.
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This.
It is finally recognition that you are a Square Peg living in a world designed for Round Pegs. The struggle and pain of trying to force yourself through round holes that everyone else seems to have no trouble with, suddenly makes sense. You have permission to stop forcing yourself through round holes and to look for square holes that fit you better.
It is also an ADA disability and comes with protections and the ability to ask for accommodations if you feel that is necessary.
True Story to Illustrate These Points:
I had an incident at work last year. It is what started me on the path that led to diagnosis.
The owner has brought a girlfriend of his in to the company. Before starting a training session, she turned to me and said, “[Beer Baron]! I’m going to hug you!”
I said, “No!”
She hugged me.
I had a screaming melt-down. Shaking. Pacing. Breathing heavy. Stuck in a loop shouting, “Do not hug me!”
I was disciplined because of how strong my reaction was.
I felt really bad and really deficient for how strong my reaction was. I beat myself up over not being able to control my emotional response. I was afraid of how I might have frightened people. I was concerned about the potential for work problems in the future if something similar happens again.
With my diagnosis, I now recognize that my reaction was larger than most people’s because my Autistic nervous system is more sensitive, and my reactions were what was necessary to try to regulate and regain equilibrium. I also have the legal protection if something similar happens again.
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