This is a great lesson from Eric Haugen. It’s on guitar, but the principles apply to any instrument.
Disclaimer: Eric is a friend and my former guitar teacher, so I am biased. But this is an important lesson, and one that I struggle with every day.
ETA: funnily enough, it was during one of our lessons when Eric said, “you really love rhythm; have you ever considered playing bass?”
And here we are.