Trying to place a song, only limited clues!

It’s not even bass related really, but it’s bugging me something chronic.
I’m trying to find a song that my brain associates with Liam Lynch’s “United states of whatever”, but it’s not that one.
All I can vaguely recall is some words complaining about how this guy is finding some mundane life stuff really hard and he sucks at stuff.
Possibly in a spoken rather than sung style.

Sorry for this but please help me, internet!

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Whatever…
I went down to the beach and saw kiki, she was all like ‘ewhhhh’ and i’m like whatever!

Then this chick comes up to me and she’s all like ‘hey… aren’t you that dude…’ and i’m like yeah, whatever!

So later, i’m, i’m at the pool hall and this girl comes up and she’s all like ‘uhhhhhh’ and i’m like yeah, whatever!

Cause this is my united states of whatever
And this is my united states of whatever
And this is my united states of whatever

And then it’s 3am i’m on the corner wearing my leather and this dude comes up to me and says ‘hey punk’ i’m like, yeah, whatever!

Then, i’m throwing dice in the alley and officer leroy comes up and he’s like ’ hey i thought i told you…’ and i’m like, yeah, whatever!

Then, up comes zaphron and i’m like ‘yo, zaphron, what’s up?’ and he’s like ‘nothin’ and i’m like ‘that’s cool’

Cause this is my united states of whatever
And this is my united states of whatever

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Thanks for the reply, good guess but it’s not that one!