Awesome, @thebanjoplayer! So stoked for you 
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I get this. It’s like going through a breakup of any other relationship. It’ll be better when you find another band.
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You can choose 2 new Basses when you get Band status 
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Boy this thread took me back to my band days and the ups and downs and drama involved, primarily with lead guitar players and singing divas. 
I commend you for sticking it out through all these trials and tribulations and can assure you other opportunities will come along. Look at it as a learning experience.
These days I play in several jam sessions a week and at times get together with three or four other players to play a set at places like retirement homes and fall fairs.
Inspired by this thread, several weeks ago I approached a few other players to see if they would be interested in getting together and putting together a set of Christmas songs to play at Seniors homes. So far they are still thinking about it. Last Thursday I mentioned to them that time was moving on and I wanted to start rehearsing ASAP if they were interested.
My point in mentioning this to you @thebanjoplayer is that you do not necessarily need to join an existing band to play a venue for others. Form your own group, be it a permanent band or just an impromptu group of like minded players, for special occasions.
The bottom line is just have fun and enjoy yourself and don’t let the bumps in the road get you down. 
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Just seeing this @Celticstar and yes, good advice. That’s what I used to do when I was the only guy into bluegrass where I lived; I just did a one-man band for the old timers, and they were, of course, very appreciative. (I threw in some other stuff, too, fwiw.)
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Since my last visit…
I scrounged around and drummed up some potential leads; a few fizzled out before we got anywhere, and one I ended up canceling myself because I realized it was just too far away. It seemed like a fantastic opportunity — a really pro country and western dance band that was headed up by what seemed like a very smart and friendly guy — but the drive was about an hour and a half one-way!!! Three hours on the road for two hours of rehearsal, once a week?!?! I wanted to say yes, but I knew that, even if I made the trip up there and really enjoyed it, it wasn’t sustainable.
So, I kept looking…
I’ve now met and jammed/rehearsed with two more bands yesterday and today!
#1 is a jam band (Phish and stuff, not truly my thing but fun enough) with a really solid drummer with whom I immediately gelled and a guitarist that needs to dial back the reverb and delay pedals. After the 2-hour sesh, the dude said, “You are seriously bad ass,” which made me think of our guru, @JoshFossgreen 🫡
#2 is a seasoned blues guitarist and singer who used to perform a lot on the west coast and later down in Louisiana and is looking to put the band back together a la the Blues Brothers, I guess. 
He’s found another very impressive lead guitarist, and drummer who has played forever but honestly seems a bit rusty, and little ol’ me.
So, it’s going well.
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Great video! Looks like you worked well in the bunch!
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its set for private, cant view
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Sorry, y’all. The bandleader pulled the video down because he doesn’t want it (a first rehearsal) to be up as part of his official body of work while booking gigs. 
I get it, but I wish I had my own copy to share. For now, though, it’s a dead end.
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You can load a video to YouTube and keep it unlisted so it won’t appear in searches. You just give the link to who you want to have it.
You can also turn it private at anytime
It’s a shame. It’s becoming more the norm in this day and age to have old videos online. It doesn’t detract
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I can kind of see where he is coming from. I have gone back and remixed a few of my older covers because they kind of needed it and my vocals still do not make me happy; I would probably want to at least fix things if I were to be presenting a professional face with it. But I would probably just unlist them.
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Yeah, I basically agree with those of you who said it shouldn’t be a big deal, and I definitely agree with the suggestion to just limit who has access, but get this… When we asked, the BL said that, in fact, the video had been deleted — like, DELETED. I said I’d like to have a copy for “family and friends” (which tbh, mostly means y’all 
), and another guy said, “I didn’t even get to show my wife!” But the BL said, it’s been deleted. Full stop.
Now, he did say this: “That one was deleted. Not much time for me to redo it right now,” which seems to indicate that he does, in fact, still have the raw footage. (The YouTube video was a six-minute montage of clips from the two-hour rehearsal/tryout.) But, he’s certainly not showing any signs of willingness to share.
Oh, well… We three other dudes have started a message thread and have planned a 3-man rehearsal of our own this weekend. Basically, we’ve decided that, if the BL decides he doesn’t want us (he told us he’s trying out another lineup before making his decision) — and/or if we decide we don’t really want to work with this particular BL — we will try to make a go of it ourselves.
We’ve compiled a shared playlist on Spotify and everything!
But here’s where it gets interesting… I’ve never been a founding member of a band. I’ve never gotten to (or had to) make a set list. I’ve never had to start from the ground up. I’ve only ever walked into an existing band and tried to keep my head down and fit in. This is all new territory.
Maybe it ought to be a new/different thread, but how do you “form a band” and manage the personalities and whittle down a set list and all that? We’ve not yet had our first rehearsal as a three-piece, and I’m already fearing the nasty breakup and the VH1 (or BBC 4?) tell-all documentary that reveals the band’s darkest conflicts and bitter unraveling.
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Watch Spinal Tap to set the mood
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