I am kind of embarrassed that I just saw this. you have always been a fighter and an inspiration to many of us, including me. and as long as we can hear from you than absolutely nothing has changed in my book. we all got your back 
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I can only send you virtual hugs Pam, and hope for the best.
Much love
x
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Pam,
I haven’t logged in for a while, but today I was in the forum checking things out. Stay strong, and stay positive Pam. You’ve just got to take things one day at a time.
Sending healing vibes from Colorado!
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you have profoundly effected very many people. I am grateful.
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Wow! Just wow! I hadn’t heard any of this… so sorry Pam… as others have said, thanks for welcoming me into the fold last yr when I joined.
I have lost family and friends to cancer, I know the fight you’re in. Kick cancers’ ass! Godspeed Pam.
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The recent thread that was started with the “Stand by Me” covers brought tears to my eyes and inspired me to post an update. I can’t believe the love I feel from this group!
Last Thursday I had an MRI and CT scan to see how this latest cancer (number 3), has responded to the chemotherapy. The following day I met with the surgeon who had removed my tongue and larynx in November 2022, and he stated that the report shows part of the tumor (the part that was creeping into my right lung) had shrunk considerably, while the portion on the floor of my mouth had grown. However, the MRI showed that the center of the tumor had died, despite the fact that the entire mass had grown. Being that he is not trained specifically in oncology, he didn’t know what to make of it, and set me up to meet with my oncologist next Thursday at which time I will get a better idea of what is going on.
Sara asked how long he thinks I have, and he replied “about a year’, which I take with a grain of salt. It could be a couple months, a year, or ten years. Meanwhile I will keep fighting with chemo and possibly even radiation.
On another note….
Since I was diagnosed with cancer for the 3rd time last December I have been moping around not doing much of anything. I sold my Yammie BB735 and all my amps and recording gear, along with my electric upright bass, acoustic upright bass, and keyboard. I had basically dropped out of music and out of life in general.
Then I happened to watch the movie “Shawshank Redemption” (for the umpteenth time) and suddenly those words in the movie hit me like a ton of bricks.
Get busy living, or get busy dying
I’ve lost a lot of body strength in the past year, so its hard for me to handle a heavy bass slung over my shoulder or a huge heavy double bass, so I went a different route. I am now playing cello, an instrument that I love dearly. It’s tuned in 5ths instead of 4ths like the bass, but it’s not difficult to adapt. And I can play from the same bass clef, so reading music will not be a problem. I found a very capable online instructor (nothing like Josh) and have signed up for that course. So far, it’s going well. I expect in about a month I should be able to churn out some songs. Since I can no longer speak, the cello will be my voice.
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To ours as well!
I dig that quote from Shawshank Redemption - should apply to all of us!!
And I dig that you are back into music!! I guess I understand how one would lose interest in pretty much everything when faced with challenges like yours, but I hope that music is among the very last things I let go of when it’s my time 
By the way, you know that you can jazz on cello as well 
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I love cello. That crying range is the most beautiful tone of any instrument to me. I’m looking forward to hearing you post some cello!
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keep rocking Pam
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This was a tough read, yet again. But that last picture is filled with hope and it’s great to see! Keep being awesome, Pam!
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A fine quote from a fine film!
Oh the cello is such a cool instrument - I played one at school years ago but only got as far as playing the theme to Jaws. Do you know Apocalyptica? Definitely worth checking out if you don’t…
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Ditto, my dear, ditto.
I was moved to tears reading your post, and I love that you had some positive news in amongst the seemingly tedious nature of cancers refusal to fuck right off beyond the edge of the galaxy.
When I first heard the news I was distraught to hear that you had given up on playing - knowing not only how much you loved it, but also how good you are and how much we all enjoy your videos. I can’t overstate how happy I am to hear that you have got back on that horse - and you’ve gone with the instrument I wish I’d learned in school. My very first love of music was classical pieces written for, or heavily biased towards the cello. As I got a bit older and appreciated modern music more, it was the bass driven songs that pulled me in. Recently I was thinking about getting a cello, but sense has prevailed and I need to get better at the bass to justify that GAS before adding another instrument. I will be living vicariously through you in this regard.
Do you think you might pick up a bass if you found one that was lightweight and comfortable, or is the playing position an issue for you? I ask because I am looking for an excuse to build my first bass and I’ve been toying with dozens of ideas for design, including an ultra light short scale version - I’d gladly work with you to build something if we could come up with a potential solution.
But my most important message for you in this post is: keep us up to date with your progress (on the cello) and please share some videos as you go along. If you feel uncomfortable doing that so publicly, perhaps we could arrange a private group…
My strongest positive vibes are being directed across the Atlantic, and I’ll turn up the volume to make sure thy get there.
As always, you are welcome to message me at any time.
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Thank you @PeteP for that thoughtful comment.
No on the bass. My legs are not what they use to be, and it’s hard to stand for long periods especially with the extra weight of a bass. Playing the bass while seated is very unnatural to me and I’ve never been able to do it.
The cello is perfect for me!
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Ah, it’s the sitting/standing aspect: I hadn’t appreciated that because I still sit most of the time - my knees aren’t happy with the weight of the bass (though I suspect it might actually be my weight, not the bass).
I was just watching Crimson Guitars drilling into a solid body to lighten it, and it got me thinking: I wonder how much weight I could save from my Yamaha BB734. Hahaha. I’d better not start drilling into that beautiful behemoth.
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That’s the best shirt in the world. 
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Thanks, my sister sent it to me. The people at the cancer center love it when I wear it there.
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I am glad you are upright! You were one of the first to welcome me here. Your get up and go and continue against the most adverse conditions of your body reflects great measure of your soul! If I faced such as you have, I wish I would have at least half your measure!
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You should get seven of them and wear one every day. Maybe even like 10 of them, so you can have some in the laundry and still have enough to wear one every day. Eff cancer so hard.
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so true
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time to get working on your wednesday cover
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