This probably a newbie problem, but hopefully not only a “me” problem.
So who else is willing to admit to dumb self-inflicted injuries with your bass? Maybe it’s just from starting with the U-Bass and now using a long scale bass, but in the last week I’ve managed to spear my wife in the chest and slam my bass into my forehead.
Just me?
Apart from accidentally stepping on a pedal while only wearing my socks, it’s generally been pretty safe here.
Why did you try to turn your wife into a shish kebab by the way?
I rock pretty hard. And lack in coordination.
A dangerous combination 
When I got my new Jazz bass, it came with Schaller strap locks, but I did not put them on my strap. I’ve just used rubber grommets all the time.
Well, I was putting my bass on when the strap popped off the bottom heel strap button (because it was a non-fluted Schaller button) and the neck swung up and I got clocked on the left ear with the tuner keys . . . blood all over the place! 
Good thing I had a light grip on the neck or my brand new bass would have taken a quick trip to the floor.
I immediately installed the strap locks on my strap and used them ever since 
Anybody else want to share a story?
Cheers
Joe
I’ve accidentally lifted my bass too high putting it on and the head got clipped by the ceiling fan. No damage though…
I briefly owned a Dean Metalman Z (the big explorer body) and I kept hitting that thing into walls on accident. Much too bulky for my taste, it had to go!
Worst things I did so far are making some dents on the wall and hitting my PC, both with headstock.
My room is small. Low ceilings. Narrow. Most headstocks have dings. It’s my signature branding. 
I’ve done all of these…Like @John_E said it’s easy when you have low ceilings and a small room.
I have some kind of mental block about remembering the instrument has a neck when adjusting a pedal. If anyone would make a decent multi-effects board with a remote tactile knob/touch interface that I can bolt on the music stand, I’d buy it immediately. Why are the knobs on the friggin’ floor ?!??!? I don’t want an app. I want it to work everytime I walk up to it without updates or connection problems or any other hassle.
What an unfortunate “accident”
Actually good excuse to get short scale also.
I’ll leave my animals to have my bass accidents for me 
It is true I’ve never injured her with the u-bass. Though if I had to grab one or the other to fight off an intruder, I think I’d go with the u-bass. I’m pretty sure if I tried to swing my Sire I’d just whack it into a wall. (Or my wife.)
Not too much to myself but to the bass. If done almost all of the Rookie mistakes from stabbing a pristine paint jobs while filing Pickguard, gouching the fretboard with nut files and my favorite install neck without the neck plate and crack the neck pocket paint as well as poking through the fingerboard with 2 screws. Hmmm!
I put one nice white line in a painted headstock with a nut file.
One.
Now I tape half the room when a nut file comes out.
I also tape behind the bridge to the end of the body on a string change…you know why. Haha.
At first as I started plugging in my bass and I found myself knocking over things. Mainly because I wanted to learn to play so bad. I moved my practice space to another area to give me more space. My greatest concern was damaging my Bass.