No, no, it was all on my side. I willingly set myself up as a ribbing target, but because of everything going on I let it get to me more than I should have. That’s why I didn’t say anything and just stepped aside for a bit.
Sorry to hear about your dad. That’s rough
Grief sucks. No Rain No Rainbow is a song that comes to mind
Dang man. I’m sorry to hear that about your dad. You seem like a good guy Tim and I wouldn’t want anybody to go through what you’re having to go through.
So sorry to hear about your dad @JustTim .
Went through it with my father in law and its a bloody cruel situation.
Always remember there will still be times of real joy to come and ffs if you’re struggling reach out to someone. Being a bloke sucks at times but it does not make you less of a man to ask for help, talk,or even cry.
Sorry to hear about your dad Tim. Try to stay strong and take each day as it comes.
Really sorry to hear that @JustTim . Dementia is certainly a family illness (in that it affects eveyone, not just the diagnosed person). I hope you’re also getting some support and care too.
Man, that is a f’d up situation; I can see why bass playing and hanging around this forum (and taking “abuse”) is not high on your list. On the other hand, it might be that music and playing bass offers you some break or even some solace from the current situation!?!
There is something called “anticipatory grief”, which is a fairly overlooked kind of grief, but actually affects many - all those who have family members with an (incurable/terminal) disease, but also those who have people missing on active duty or just missing… there is no dead person, no body to mourn, but the grief of anticipating the worst and having no closure (yet) is real.
My wife recently published a book about this, but it’s only in Danish. Maybe you can find more about “anticipatory grief” on English-language websites providing help and the possibility to share concerns and thoughts with others in similar situations?!
Man…that whole thing just stinks Tim. Sorry to hear that you’re dealing with it. Sending all the good vibes and pizza slices your way.
Hey Tim, sorry you’re going through such a rough time. I’m probably one of the people that took a shot or two at you for your bass transactions, and although it was all meant in good fun, I understand that it may hit home a little harder than intended. So for that, I do apologize, and I promise I won’t do it again.
No need to apologize. I recognized that my reaction was a “me” issue because of things going on outside of this forum (dementia isn’t a “sudden onset” kinda thing). So, no worries, mate.
Thanks for all the well-wishes and concerns, everyone. It’s touching, really.
My grandma developed dementia towards the end of her life and I totally understand what a difficult situation it can be. Not remembering you, saying things that make absolutely no sense, getting scared for no reason…it’s very troubling and I wish you and your family all the best. I would always try to remind my grandma of fun things we did together when I was a kid, she seemed to be able to grasp onto really old memories sometimes and it always filled me with joy to see her have that brief moment of clarity.
@JustTim. That’s a hard thing to go through, I feel for you. I had similar issues with my Dad, but instead of not recognizing me, (he knew I was his son) he thought that I was trying to steal from him ( even took out a small claims law suit against me and listed stealing empty cat food cans and his ball peen hammer in the suit) called the police on me a few times too. It was nuts, and It effected me greatly. Law officials knew something wasn’t right with him and… It eventually worked out…BUT, you can and will get through this. Getting the right people in place to offer the best advice will help immensely. And above all, stay strong and take care of yourself.
@John_E and gang, I do miss everyone!! We had a wonderful group.
Hope to make it back soon! Just had a lot going on on Sunday’s when the hangs happen.
Here’s the readers digest version:
I’ve been in a SERIOUS drought on my playing bass.
Family is all doing very well!!
Job is what it is.
Finally, I bought me a 2- seater (different kinda GAS lol) which I’ve been driving a lot of the weekends and even joined a car club so we’re having some fun!!
Caveat of not legal advice but Look into whether can you do a guardianship petition.
Oh, SO busy! Not keeping up with all the things I need to do, much less the things I want to do. And earlier in the year I had a problem with how casual (and not so casual) misogyny is perfectly acceptable here sometimes - I needed a break.
While not quite in the same boat as @JustTim i also have a parent going down the dementia path and have actually moved back in with my parents to help them out. So parents + new business + daughter + taking care of my own mental health = needing 36 hours in a day.
I think of y’all often, though! And keep fantasizing about recording bass videos in the bookshop.
I think that I probably would have already moved my pops in with us if we didn’t live next door.
That’s just terrible mate. I’m so sorry to hear that.
Sorry to have missed another one! Will try harder for the next one! I miss y’all