Or how I learned to stop worrying and hate seafood.
Okay. so I always disliked seafood, especially shellfish like crab or lobster. It just tastes nasty like it’s been too long in the refridgerator. More on that coming up.
My dad died young, while I was still in the oven. He was a gifted musician, and came home from directing his new TV show on classical music, and dropped dead of a heart attack. All my life I have been on the watchout, and when I woke one morning with chest pains, I went to the hospital to check them out.
And having been an EMT in my past and knowing all the rude things they would do to me in an ambulance, I took a cab to the hospital.
The ER was slow as normal, but when the nurse got to me and asked what my problems were, and I said chest pains, I was in a room in about 30 seconds. They hooked me up to all their gizmos, and I lay there awhile, while some crazy woman screamed her head off.
They decided to do a stress test, and as I had pains they did it by medication. Hard to describe the feeling when the doctor injects drugs in your IV to make your heart race. Unique is how I will put it. But it did not go well, and they decided to go in and take a better look.
So the next morning, I found myself in the cardiac catherization lab so they could do a minimally invasive procedure to determine if I had a blockage. They asked all sorts of question, can you describe the pain, are you dizzy, are you allergic to seafood. And so on. They put me in a gown with no undies, going commando fellas. And shaved my thigh.
They wheeled me in the gurney into the Cath Lab, and talked to me about what they were going to do. Which is go in thro0ugh my femoral artery with a camera the size of a horse, through a hole big enough to fit said horse. With a collogen plug when they finished so I don’t bleed out.
They would insert a probe, and inject some dye for contrast, and see what they see.
Those beds in the cath lab are hard as rock, and they are very uncomfortable, but I had my own monitor so I could watch the whole thing as you’re awake during the process. They poked the hole, and started threading the probe up through my system (which felt weird, not enough nerve endings to be more distinct) to the heart.
Once they got there, it looked kind of cool, and they injected this cloud of dye, and all hell broke loose. I went into immediate tachycardia, my heart racing faster than it could withstand. That stress test? That was a scooter. This was an Indy car. I thought my chest was going to explode, uuntil it all stopped and the world went black.
Next thing you know I sawe this bright light, and someone spoke in my ear, words to the effect of not yet. I turned around, and I was lying on the table, the doctor calmly remonstrating the nurse over something I missed, and told her to just do it like she trained.
Another nurse was doing compressions, and all the while this voice in my ear was telling me not to be afraid. All the while the lines on the monitor were flat. The other nurse got out the paddles, and put gel on them, rub them together, and hit me on my chest.
I have had foot surgery, knee surgery, woke up in the dentists chair during a root canal, and nothing prepared me for the pain I now felt. The world went black, the doctor calmly gave instructions, turned up the juice, and hit me again.
All the while I hear a voice telling me not to worry, it’s not my time, all will be well.
They turned the juice up again, and hit me once more, and my heart started back up.
I lay there on the table, eyes open, the world black. And slowly like water draining, the black drained away and I could see the world again. It was like someone pulled the plug and the glass emptied, I could see above the level of black, and as it drained I could see more until the level of black was gone.
I then spoke my immortal words to the doctor and nurses. “Ouch.” Literally.
They wheeled me back to my room, gave me some grape juice, and let me lie there as I cried or laughed at whatever anyone said to me. A limp dish rag was much stronger than I was. For a time I was so wiped I had no control of my emotional responses. None. Another weird sensation.
Later the doctor came in and asked if I ate seafood. I said no, the stuff tastes nasty like it’s been in the fridge too long. He then informed me that i was allergic to shellfish. The contrasting dye they use is high in iodine, which is extracted from the shells. When it hit my heart, that was all she took.
I have talked to others who are allergic to shellfish, and good number of them also hate it. My body is tellling me not to eat this drek.
And that’s my story of the day I almost died. Really very little embellishment. I really said ouch.
My doctor said once I flatlined my brain ceased to function, and that I couldn’t see or hear. But I gave him word for word the conversation that took place between him and the nurses, and he said that can’t be, and left me to recover.
And one of the reasons I make quick decisions now. And get that bass. Cause life is too short. Eat dessert first.
@Old_WannaBe @Jazzbass19 hope this is satisfactory