Rejection isn’t something we ever get used to. I haven’t been in your position but I understand what it’s like to put yourself out there and get denied. It sucks. Your emotion is justified, I think everyone would feel gut punched in similar circumstances.
IMO this band should have made it more clear as to what they were looking for up front. That would have saved you a lame experience and helped them find what they wanted.
I think it’s fine for people to have a vision for their band. They can want an all male band all around the same age, that’s not a problem to me as we should all be free to have our preferences. But, why audition a female when you don’t want a female in the band? That bit doesn’t make sense. As others have said, I don’t think you would have had a good time playing with people that didn’t want you there, so +1 for bullet dodged!
Sometimes it can really suck playing an instrument that most people consider is more for men. I started playing drums when I was in 7th grade and the first couple years I really got harassed a lot in band class. I was the only female drummer and a lot of the boys would tell me how drums are for boys and girls suck and can’t play. It seems in general I’ve noticed a lot of people judged me as inferior right away because of my gender. I’ve just started learning bass last month and it’s nice to see other female bassists here. I just wish my hands were a little bigger lol
I am certain you will find (have found already) that this is an attitude not prevalent or shared by many in this forum. Mostly because it’s utterly stupid and pointless…
This is a clear sign of (male) insecurity that someone else (a female) is infringing on their (perceived) turf and potentially better at it. Which is also why they were so busy labeling you as “inferior”.
We all wish that somehow, but this is the often used counter argument:
Now if only I could play as good as her that’s why I’ve decided not to go with a short scale bass though. I’ve seen a lot of videos of people with very small hands managing it just fine. Still, it wouldn’t hurt to have better reach though
@Merbear528 My girlfriend has significantly smaller hands than me, but can stretch a solid “extra finger” wider than me. So screw the idea of small hands altogether. I have glove size L, she’s maybe an M. Whenever I try stretching, it hurts. So I abandoned that goal and focused on, well playing more.
Check out Carol Kaye (as mentioned above), she has this great thing about pivoting your thumb:
The rest is practicing to get your thumb pivot working (this requires picking UP the index finger, not leaving it laying down on the fingerboard once you’ve used it too.
The old string bass method is totally unnecessary on the elec. bass. [Instead, it is better to] tak[e] your fingers with you as a group as you move around, not spreading them much (occasionally, according to fast tempos is fine), but keeping your fingers mainly together and totally relaxed at all times.
Using the left thumb as a pivot is “the way” that you can easily move around on the neck, find your notes and lock into the chords with your fingerings.
You never need to lose your place on the neck, it’s easy to grasp the LH techniques to get around comfortably and accurately.
My hands are not the biggest either although a bass player told me I have man hands attached to my 5’8 body lol. My sister in Germany (she is a certified holistic healer or as my husband calls it, a witch lol) showed me some stretching technique that will improve my reach. It kind of works like with gymnasts learning the split, just with your fingers. You start by making splits between each two fingers, as far down as you can get without hurting yourself. After that you stretch every finger inward, then outward and then massage your wrist for better blood circulation. I do this every time I have a few minutes doing nothing since a few weeks, and I swear my reach improved.
that’s why I’ve decided not to go with a short scale bass though. I’ve seen a lot of videos of people with very small hands managing it just fine. Still, it wouldn’t hurt to have better reach though 
I have glove size L, she’s maybe an M. Whenever I try stretching, it hurts. So I abandoned that goal and focused on, well playing more. 
