I should clarify, I had been hospitalized prior to 2015 when I was CLEAN, and was given opiate pain killers while in there, and gotten out and not had a problem.
It was the time that they sent me home with medication that I can ration, and take as much as I want, when I want, to FEEL how I want, that I had a problem. Plus When I am at home on them, I can justify a “Call to the man” cuz I am already taking opiates by Dr. prescription, so my opiated brain tells me its ok to do that, when it is absolutely not ok.
So, it is not right for them to not give me the things needed in the hospital while I am there. I just don’t need them after that, cuz it is risky.
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I had my first of many knee surgeries when I was around 20, anf they gave me Percocet, and I had a hard time kicking that, so I have been careful ever since.
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My first of many was on my left knee from playing Soccer, at age 10 or 11, I can’t recall, but I was in 5th grade.
I backed that up with another injury to the same knee, the very next year, but that was 4x worse.
My right knee problems were from a car accident I should not have made it out of, when I was 18. Compound fracture of my right femur. I had a femoral rod surgically implanted for a year, then had it surgically removed, and have had a few knee surgeries on either / or, in the years that followed.
They used Demerol back then (horrible stuff, makes me irritable and violent, even at a young age), but still, I had a taste at an early age, and my predisposition to addiction, its just all bad.
But I hear you, knee pain, and even the surgery to fix the pain is nasty stuff, I would not want anybody, especially not younger people, to have to go thru it. Sports do play a part in a lot of bad knees in many people, but still.
And thats just my knees. I still got Wrists, Elbows, Shoulders, Fingers, Head, Brain, Cheek, Eye socket, and ribs on the list.
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Fucking hell man, that’s some crap to deal with. Sending the most positive vibes I can
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Ok, I am back once again, after missing 5 days.
This time was really fun, like another island paradise vacation, but the exact opposite in the fact that it totally sucked. But I am home once again, and ok for now at least.
I am just catching up on all the stuff I missed.
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Welcome back Toby!
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Thanks, I just hope I am able to stick around, things are kind of, hmmm intense to say the least.
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You have no idea. I get to sleep in a real bed again, not on a metal slab with a one inch mattress and a folded sheet and blanked for a pillow. That hurts my back and knees so bad, and I love my bed so much.
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Ok, so apparently I may still be pulling a disappearing act at any time, day or night now.
Such as has been my life the past 18 months, with non stop crap flying at me, but now, I have a huge pile of Shit that was dumped on me last Tuesday, and this one is serious, like bad bad bad serious.
To sum things up, I was served a Federal Warrant on an Indictment last Tuesday morning. I spent Tuesday morning thru Friday night at LA County’s Twin Towers, in the US Marshall’s side in Federal Prison. It’s not LA County Jail on that side, it is Federal Prison.
I am currently out on $65000 bond, with conditions that I go into a residential rehab as soon as i can find a bed at a place where they take my insurance. I will likely be back at the place I just went voluntarily a couple weeks ago to get off the Methadone.
Since my release on Friday night, I was not sure until today if that condition still applied. As of now, it does, although we are trying to get it changed to an out patient rehab instead of inpatient. Not all the facts about my recovery and sober time and, that I just did a year in rehab voluntarily, from Oct 2019 thru Oct 2020, have come out, and I am hoping that will change things.
This is something from 3 years ago, that came up and bit me in the ass, even tho it was not me that did the thing they are accusing me of, but they think they have enough evidence to convict me for it, otherwise there would be no Indictment, and I would have a right to a pre-trial, which I do not.
Plus, I forgot the best part. They are hanging 20 years over my head right now.
Also, although, I am restricted for travel, I am can be anywhere within the Orange, LA, Riverside, San Bernardino and San Diego County’s (basically all of Southern California), BUT, I am still under surveillance and monitoring by phone location. So, anytime they want, or a computer randomly decides, they send my phone a notification and I have seven minutes to stop whatever I am doing, log onto the app and take a picture of myself and send it in, so they can compare my photo to the location my phone broadcasts and make sure I am not on the run.
This whole thing is pretty ridiculous and appears a desperate attempt to get what they want from me, which is probably evidence they do not have in order to convict the person they want. but none the less it is serious and I am not playing around with any of it. Until it’s over, I am doing whatever they say, and that may have me not at my home for a while. I am not wanting to go to residential, but it is way way way better then 24 hour a day lock up, in a hot ass 2 man cell, with 20 minutes out every other day, to take a shower and make a phone call.
So yeah, my life, never a dull moment, FFS!
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FFS @T_dub. Somebody up there 
really doesn’t like you.
I assume you’re lawyered up and ready for a fight but this is just sh1t .
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Not yet, I just got out Friday night. I have a Federal Public Pretender right now. I am kind of waiting for them to receive discovery on the case and see what needs to be done. I don’t have alot of money, but I have a 401K I can cash out if needs be, and I damn well will, cuz I am not doing 20 years without the fight of a lifetime.
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So sorry you’re still dealing with this crap, @T_dub. Whatever they want from you, remember the truth will set you free, and if they have nothing, they can’t have you.
As @Mac said --keep your lawyer close. Yesterday was 100 days without a drug or drop of alcohol in my system. I’m here to tell you that whatever life’s trying to glue you to, you can absolutely unstick yourself, my man. We’re all here for you.
Please take care of yourself.
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I really don’t know what the facts or evidence is. I know they took my phone last year, that did not have much on it, and I know they were asking about a person, and I didn’t know much then and not much now, so IDK what it is they are wanting.
but the charge is
Knowingly selling Fentynal resulting in Great Bodily Harm and / or Death.
Thing is, I am not a drug dealer. I was never successful when I tried as a kid.
I am a very heavy drug abuser, and I always need more and more, and I have a very hard time parting with what ever I have. Plus I do it all and get into debt, so it is just not something I do. Plus I don’t abuse drugs anymore, its been 18 months since I quit, and it was 10 years before that when I last used, so…???
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Thats awesome, congratulations.
And thanks for the sentiment.
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Anyway @T_dub with all the treatments you’ve been through you won’t be able to tell your ass from your elbow therefore yore an unreliable witness imho 
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Lets hope so
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There blows an old wind. Guy does drug. All the law enforcement in huge metro area target guy because he must know something about some completely unrelated crime/people because drug is involved.
But thanks for the congrats, man. You staying strong as all this is going down is HUGE. Just let them lurk and keep on keeping on. <3
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Aint no point in getting loaded now. I would pick up a habit quickly, and not only violate the conditions of my bond, but have to kick dope again when I got back into residential treatment or back in Prison.
Plus, it just does not appeal to me anymore really.
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Sex, drugs & rock n’ roll.
Get rid of one, and have more time for the other two. 
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