worked in detox in an inner city chicago hospital for almost 10 years. we had the life long addicts, no one was remotely interested in getting clean. never saw anyone quit, ever. it’s a hell of a tragedy. that being said, everyone knows somebody that has gotten clean and stayed clean. you can do it.
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I did for 9 years for the most part. and it has been over 12 years with no alcohol.
In that 9 years I had some prescriptions I took advantage of, but I went almost a full 10 years with no needle (9 years and 9 months).
When I went back to one, it was for a 6 month run. Thats not saying much, cuz that 6 months got me worse then ever before, but it was nothing near the 6 year run I had one time. It was worse, but shorter, thats the best way I can explain it.
But it’s been 18 months, well, I should say, It will be 18 months on April 16th, so 4 days, since I stopped using anything, again. (Except the Methadone the Dr put me on, but this is why I did not want it in the first place, and fought like hell for 5 months to get off it)
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almost any statistic shows that people that quit usually take several tries to do it, the cold turkey thing is very rare. you learn from all your past failures and get better at it until you succeed. i’m just saying this to point out that what you’re going through is pretty much par for the course, and any past attempts are not failures but important opportunities to learn from. i know that sounds kinda like a “the more you know” commercial, but it’s true.
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Nah, its good, I agree with what you are saying.
Recovery is work, you can’t just do it for a while, and think you got things under control. Once you think everything is all fine and dandy, thats when trouble hits, and you go back to what you know best, how to feel the way you want to instantly. Thats why it is so hard to quit. we don’t know how to live thru bad feelings, or good feelings for that matter, really it is ANY feelings we don’t have control over.
Once we feel out of control of our emotions, no matter how bad or good they are, we just resort to making ourselves feel the way we want to, cuz we are back in control of how we feel. And we all have preferences, even if we don’t discriminate. There is one feeling we want, from one substance, but if that if not available at the time, any old substance will get you back to a point of control over your feelings.
Back in the drivers seat. Not a good place for me to be (figuratively speaking)
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Sorry I didn’t read your post properly @chordsykat. Congratulations on 100 days. Massive achievement.
As for you @T_dub one of very few people I would call a friend, you’ve got this. You will do it because you have it in your heart to.
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Thanks Mac, you are a friend to me, no doubt.
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i love this forum 
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I can say, that while I was in lock up for 5 nights, my cell mate got high every night. He kept asking if I wanted to get high too.
I was still feeling waves of withdrawals from the methadone (and still do, it takes a month or two) and was in the worst place I could find myself, bored out of my skull and feeling shitty. A very dangerous place (state of mind) for a recovering addict to be.
I did not get high while I was in there, and I still have my time in tact, but if ever I was to think that getting high might be a good idea again, that would have been the place.
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Congrats on that achievement. You should be proud!
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Speechless, man…
Most of us need to watch “Bosch” to even get a whiff of what you have been through…
Stay strong - there is music waiting for you; and, in fact, always with you, in your head and in your heart!!
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Thanks for the support.
Today I got, what appears to be some good news.
I will not have to go to a residential rehab and will be able to remain at home thru the process.
All other restrictions still apply.
-Phone monitoring - since I am considered a flight risk, due to facing 20 years.
-Travel restrictions to California Central district. (LA, , Orange, Ventura, San Luis Obispo, Riverside and San Bernardino counties, not San Diego like I first thought)
-random drug testing
-search and seizure at any time
and a bunch of others I can’t even remember at the time being.
good news is I can still go to Music Man in San Luis Obispo if I want to get a new Stingray 
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Goizzzzz I’m associating with a hardened criminal 
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Your whole country was started by hardened criminals, doesn’t that technically make you one?
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Wasn’t that the way of the entire world?
Glad you get to be where you are vs. where someone else wants you!
As a side note, I am super jealous of you being so close to Music Man. There is really no good place to go and dive deep into what they offer around NYC (at least that I know of). The little shop over the bridge has some, but since I ended up not buying the last bass there I don’t want to go back and use his shop as a showroom/testbed as I don’t want to buy a MM just yet but want to try out a bunch to know what I do want when the time comes.
You would think NYC would be an epicenter of music, but there are just no big selection stores for any one brand. It’s kinda nuts.
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To be completely honest, San Luis Obispo county, and City is about a 4-5 hour drive. I won’t be going up there anytime soon.
Now Fender, and G&L (in the original Fender factory), are both within a 45 min drive.
Then if you start to talk about Schecter, Keisel, and probably a handful of others, they are all within an hour or less.
That said, I am way jealous of your music shop after looking at their inventory. You can do more there then if you just show up at a manufacturers plant, unless you are a well known artist, or at least a professional one.
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Indeed he has a great selection for sure, like no other, however, hes a bit fussy about how much you try/trial etc. Its super small there and he really discourages people hanging and playing.
When you walk in you get the speech - only try what you intend to buy. I focused on hollow bodies as that is what I was looking for. When I settled on the Italia, it had to be ordered, but, in the end it was not going to come until May and might turn out to be a different model, so I had to have him send back my deposit.
He has been there 39 years! and I respect his rules. He’s a good guy but an old guy and is a one man show. I will give it a few months before going back so he at least thinks I am serious.
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…from everywhere 
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Sorry to hear that man, I’ve been in a similar situation just with less trouble than you’re facing now. All the fees and classes surely feel like debts so I can definitely sympathize with that.
But I’m glad it panned out to be better than you initially expected. Hopefully it blows over at some point and you’re able to forget about it all.
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Looks as if you don’t have to look for trouble . . . trouble finds YOU . . . 
Wishing you all the best, @T_dub
Cheers
Joe
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