The Boomer and I [RANT]

Theory
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Ugh, it may pain you as much as myself to read this.

I have posted stories on other forums here but feel this may be a better target audience.

I want to write this somewhat respectful because this guitarist is my bandmate, can jam, and comes out to see me play open mics, a friend of mine for sure.

But he’s older, tends to teddy roxbury lines such as “my bone nut keeps tune so great,” “the blues is the root of all great rock and metal players,” “you can only really play great if you start with the blues.”

But I freaking lost it when he put on a capo on Fret 1 for “Folsom Prison Blues” thinking he could play a F5 F6, Bb5 Bb6, C5 C6 pattern.

He went from a sensible “It’s like a train vibe” which is kind of fun, to a “this should work because its bluesy vibe” neglecting the type of blues it is. It didn’t work at all, and he didn’t know how to play the 5 chord at all with the capo.

He would look at his tuner and say “I don’t understand, the marty video says to play E, A, and D,”

I play guitar as well and offered multiple times to show him how it would be played with a capo, but he was too prideful and kept at it for 45 minutes fumbling.

[Fast Forward post-practice]

Some time had passed and I offered to give him my login to a music theory course for guitarists (Sorry, I know this is unethical but I really thought it might help!!) that I had taken when I played guitar.

He replied with a giant rant about how the blues is played because of pain in your life and “I don’t need fucking music theory, learn quantum physics and I’ll learn your theory” (relating to his day job.)

I know people will say as my bass teacher said “run and never look back,” But this guy introduced me to playing live and a lot of blues standards as a total noob.

Anyone have similar situations where they were able to convince someone that music theory is not a college education but just learning your instrument a little better? Unf. I am at a loss of communication at the moment.

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2

Sounds like an individual, personal problem: The guy in question has a few deeply self-ingrained limits.

That said, I know many a boomer and blues players who would tell him he’s full of crap, musically. So you might reconsider painting with an overly broad brush. Just my take.

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Thanks,“Boomer” is being used as a comical term, Im 39, he’s 60?

Just different generations clashing but would hate for the band to kaput over what I think is basic communication.

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It’s time for you to move on to another band and find another friend.

It seems like an aggressive move to get what you wanted and get your point acrossed.

I would not do that to my band mate, and never ever crossed my mind to do that to a friend. Why did you do that? Just curious.

Even if he played in a different keys, I’m good.

You kept playing it wrong, you did it wrong. Here take a lesson, use my log in. That’s not a basic communication. I’m sorry.

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Disclaimers:

  • men around 60 are fragile and need some extra TLC to function
  • men around 60 are increasingly more stubborn and harder to teach new stuff (see also the entry on “Old dogs/new tricks”)
  • there are more of us around 60 in here than those around 40 - so tread carefully :rofl: (just kidding of course)

If you otherwise enjoy playing with him, let the man have his idiosyncracies and quirks. You need to weigh whether it’s worth the hassle to educate him and make him angry/sad/feel like an idiot, or to let it go and enjoy the music together.

I don’t know nothing about the blues, but why not play that particular one in E (isn’t that what its original key is anyway??)? You can tell him a story that it just sounds better in E and I can’t imagine anyone would be angry about that.

If, on the other hand, you only stay with him because you feel you owe it to him, then don’t try to change him either. What you could do, is start to explore playing with others. I mean the idea to be exclusive and loyal to just one band is perhaps a notion we had when we were 16, but hopefully no longer holds among adults!?!

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Like most in GenX I do enjoy pulling out a lawn chair, cracking a beer, and watching the fireworks as GenY and The Boomers fire artillery over our heads at each other.

But in this case I’m with Al, it’s just time for both of you to move on.

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I think you may understand it wrong.

We didn’t have an issue playing together, and in general I always work with what he can play and sing.

The entire problem was that he wouldn’t let me explain what a capo does or that his video was talking about chord shapes not actual notes.

The P5/M6 thing is kind of irrelevant to the issue, but it added to the confusion because he didn’t like how it sounded, I think he was intending on doing like a root M2 instead? We couldn’t even have that conversation.

I do think maybe I pushed a little hard but it was with good intentions. The course is literally designed for people with experience that just kinda “skipped academics.”

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I think this was kind of the spot on reply I needed to read. Thanks!

Most recordings are in F, but it’s very often played live in E. Either way its pretty basic chords and just a 1-4-5 “11 bar.”

Even though we’ve played the song correctly together many times, he was just experimenting playing it with a capo to achieve F with “standard shapes,” instead of power chords or barres.

Normally when he’s stuck on something he just says “Oh well we’ll skip it and I’ll work on it” so we can get through more songs. Maybe since the drummer wasn’t there he was stuck on it. This was an experiment for me to weigh in my thoughts that didn’t go over so well lol.

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In my own experience, giving advice or input on theory/fundamental issues, is a tricky and super sensitive issue amongst musicians. And I can say that from experience both as a giver and a receiver.

Even when well meant (and hopefully it always is), it can quickly come across as condescending and making the receiver feel like a doofus, at which point communication comes to a grinding halt anyway.

It is often better to wait until they really want to know themselves; when they start cautiously with a “so, why is a major 7th not good here?” or something like that. That might signal they are starting to get interested in some of the theory stuff :wink:

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Yeah, this isn’t the first time we’ve butt heads over it. There have been many times the drummer and I are playing something spontaneously, he joins in and asks me what I’m playing and it goes something like:

“Oh I’m just playing around over A major”

he leads in with A minor blues/pentatonic

“I think your playing the wrong third”

“well this should work its a blues pattern”

“ANYHOW…”

I’ve often been on the receiving side of being looked down on for my playing ability, not being able to immediately play along with a song as a bass player, which I continue to work on but it’s a little more experienced based.

I may delete the post though, it rolled out as a conversation and reads awkward now that I’m not upset.

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11

Up to you, of course, but I wouldn’t worry too much about it.

We all need to vent every now and then, and the forum often provides a good, uhm, forum to offer different perspectives, but also posts from people who have experienced similar stuff.

Any “rant” has elements in it that others can learn from or relate to (or strongly oppose to)… so, if people feel they want to chime in, that’s good. If not, the thread will slowly fade away by itself :smile:

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Except the youngins consider GenX to be Boomers

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And the old-uns think Millennials are in their 20’s…

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Boomer is at least as much a state of mind as an age.

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I think of it entirely as a state of mind. Age is just a number; I’m one of the least mature people I know and I’m mid-50s :rofl:

Someday I might grow up but I hope not.

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Right there with you. It feels weird being the same age as all these old people! :crazy_face:

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I hear ya.
To paraphrase David Lister:
I’m going out as I came in, screaming and kicking. If Death comes near me, I’m gonna rip his nipples off!

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To paraphrase Jimmy Buffett.

“I’m growing older but not up
My metabolic rate is pleasantly stuck
Let those winds of time blow over my head
I’d rather die while I’m living than live while I’m dead”

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Or HER nipples :slight_smile:

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This has a lot less to do with age and more to do with band personalities, chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and move on. I’ve got a lot of friends that are great musicians and genuine good people but playing in a band with them would only end the friendship. Leave now while you can still part ways on friendly terms. Just one mans opinion.

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