Hey bass buddies! Been a while. Curious to hear about other people’s stories about leaving their band. I love my band mates but I’m just questioning a lot right now.
When I started with my band 2yrs ago I was unemployed and spent A LOT of time playing bass and learning songs. It was my first time playing in a band or even playing full songs on the bass. Overall we did 10 shows or open mics etc. it was fun.
We had a problem getting one member to want to do shows and show up for practice but we worked around it and 3 of us were pushing hard.
Fast forward a year and almost none of us are pushing for practice. Our last show sucked because we went into it with like 2 rehearsals under our belt.
It’s been 3monsince our show and I think we have practiced 2 times. I’m generally more into song writing and playing a bunch of instruments and having fun.
I’m not sure if I’ve played anything much from our setlist lately.
Anyway, We play a party gig for a friend on the 4th but I’m wondering if this is my last one. I don’t see practicing 40+ songs I’m not that into to play them half heartedly 2x a year.
I think my hangup is do I want to perform music for others or create music? Performance requires a level of perfection that takes time. I could use that time to learn 5 other instruments and maybe be happier.
Anyways as always this turned into a rant but I’m just looking for stories of people who left or swapped bands.
I also have an opportunity to play with my church but my dad was a 30yr church pianist and I saw what that did to him. Not sure I want to go that route of learning a whole bunch of new music again.
True. The crazy thing is when we all stopped drinking a few beers after practice everything slowed waaaayyy down. It was also around the time my guitarist started yelling at everyone and blaming them for his mess ups. I’m far from perfect but I don’t take criticism well especially from folks who aren’t perfect. The goal was to have fun and play as well as we can and I always met that goal.
Good question. My band mates are great friends I met by joining the band. I genuinely love the hangouts and getting better together. I’m not against being in a band but none of us are good enough to go unrehearsed into shows. When rehearsed we are good enough to get on stage but unrehearsed it’s embarrassing. These aren’t the days when everyone is drunk and dancing these are the days folks want a quiet bar so they can talk and drink away their pain.
I try not to be a perfectionist but it’s to the point where I feel like we are pestering the folks at the bar. Sure we have our fans but how many times are they going to come out for virtually the same set list?
I wonder if it’s the band itself thats dragging you down? Maybe try playing with some other folks, hell, even going solo to an open mic night somewhere and see if the lack of enthusiasm is playing with other folks or playing with people who don’t want to do the work of being in a band.
There’s also the option of joining another, more serious band and treating the current thing as a side/fun project with your buddies.
A guy I know has a tuesday project that they call Show City as a play on So shitty. because they never practice. But they gig every week for a bar tab.
That’s an amazing band name. I had an audition with a band who actually releases their own music I think their songs were way above my level prog rock kinda stuff but they were willing to work with me. I went to one of their shows before the audition and their mix was so bad/loud on stage. I thought the bass was trying to give me a colonoscopy. So I backed off
Kinda silly old man thing to do but I don’t think those folks would have listened. Their album is quite good though.
Sounds very similar to something I went through last year. 4 of us in the band, I was the only one with a fulltime job, but I was the one expected to travel 1.5hrs each way to rehearse once a week. I brought this up with the band, asking if 1 in every 4 rehearsals could be closer to me and the singer responded with “I’ve left bands who made me travel for rehearsal” . At that point, I thought to myself, whats good for the goose …. so I pretty much let them know then and there that I’d play one more gig then my time with them was done. I havent looked back. I ended up scoring a spot in a rock blues band and love every song we play, we all travel to rehearse to make it fair for everyone. Each week we take turns to bring the beers and we all love to hang around after rehearsal for a chat. I dont gig as much with these guys as I did the other band, but that doesnt bother me one bit. I’m a firm believer in things happening for a reason and this was yet another classic example!
There’s nothing wrong with deciding you want something different for a change. I had fun playing live back when we did it but I have no desire to do so any more. Things change over time.
Could be you’re also just sick of playing covers. I get that, it’s not something I love either (and is why I no longer post them much). In that case, by all means take some time to focus on your own music.
In the end this is about you having fun. If you’re not, move on.
Quit my first band (as a bass player) after 6 only sessions together . there was just not a good vibe, the drummer could not keep time and everybody knew it and never said anything about it, when I carefully tried to adress the issue ( used te be a drummer for 15 years) the only thing he said that had been playing for over 35 years and that was just the way he played . One of my bass goals was to form a nice rhythm section and there was no chance that was going to happen . There was nothing I could get out of playing with this band . If you can’t get anything positive from it I think it is better to walk away.
I think part of it too is I want to play and have folks enjoy what we are bringing. Like a minimum of 3-4 full rehearsals for a show and preferably a practice weekly. Love the folks I play with but they complain about us not playing out more but then aren’t available to practice.
Been doing a lot of improv on the keyboard and electric guitar lately.
Music for me is like therapy and/or food. I want to experience it all, all of the flavors and colors. I’ve consumed it for decades but in this decade I’m playing and creating it.
I can’t say I’m sick of covers but I want to keep music as a positive thing for me. It’s not a job, it’s not something I want people evaluating me on. If I flub something I know and I’ve already beaten myself up enough about it.
The songs I create are experimental, weird and rough. But it’s fun to explore sound and building around ideas. I don’t have any aspirations other than bringing what’s inside outside and seeing what I can do.
If like to find a real multi instrument musician as a teacher and be able to roll into a lesson and be like, “this week we are doing piano, next week vocals…”
Yeah most kids nowadays don’t practice nearly enough repetition for the show. Worst they use the rehearsal as a practice sessions. You don’t need several rehearsal but everyone needs to come prepared. It’s the part of being a paid professional, doesn’t make any difference if you get pay $5 an hour or for some lucky few $7, .
Both bands I’m in are enthusiastically employ healthy dose of friendly banter when one mess up during rehearsal, if there’s any sign of ill prepare on one’s part. We get so good at it everyone is on their toes and make sure that we are on schedule.
If your band is not fulfilling your needs or not living up to your expectation and/or potential, then level up and find another. Good luck.
Everyone is in to music for different reasons. Some do it for a living, some are hobbiests. Like all hobbies or careers for that matter, everyone has their own level of interest. Some just want to stand up on the stage, others want to share their talent that they’ve spent countless hours practicing. At the end of the day, you just have to find people you can connect with in regards to their work ethic 1st. The rest will probably work itself out. You’ll likely have a few people come and go along the way, but that’s part of the process.
At the end of the day, we are there to do what we like and live our rock’n’roll dream.
This may not be a popular thing to say but we, are ions away from people coming to see us perform. We are at the entry level of the industry we are almost like a Juke Box at the venue. The patrons are there to enjoy themselves, and if we are lucky we might play the song they like and they’d nod their heads and tap their feet along with what we are doing, sometime you’d get someone singing along at chorus.
I used to go and watch Larry Carlton play at a bar back in the day, I’m so shocked that only half the people look toward the stage, the rest were just getting on with their night. What idiots,
I remember watching a drunk couple at an open mic we headlined, Drunk folks are an endangered species anymore. But They were dancing and as the night went on they kept getting closer and closer. Who knows their story but I like to think our music warmed up that love that night. Like that’s such a beautiful thing. That’s the music I want to play.
. One of my bass goals was to form a nice rhythm section and there was no chance that was going to happen . There was nothing I could get out of playing with this band . If you can’t get anything positive from it I think it is better to walk away.
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